I am so overwhelmed and lost right now, I don't know how to go on or function. I am not too happy with me right now either. I want to be in the park across the street right now watching the movie on the big screen with my kids and enjoying them and the evening and I cannot even do that right now. I feel fat, my back hurts, I feel like a big fat loser and such a mess.
I worked hard to get 15 year old stepson on Social Security for his disability(ies) and now that I succeeded, we are being punished by not qualifying for food stamps any more. How can I get the extra stuff we need for him if the extra money isn't extra any more because it has to replace the food stamps we have lost. Plus they "miscalculated" so now we owe them $511.00!!!! I have to cut out all the extra money that we spend, meaning cellphones and cable and internet! I just feel very alone right now. All Ellery does is say they are wrong and we have to fight it, but I think they may be right, but that doesn't make it any easier. I am in a questioning place about everything right now - my marriage, my role as a step mother - or not, would my 4 kids be better off if it was just us? I wish God would just come down and tell me what to do cause I REALLY DON'T KNOW and don't know how to hear God. I wonder if I have just done everything wrong and that's why I am where I am in my life. I don't know what my life is even supposed to be. I need a break, I need help, I need someone to take care of me for awhile! I just cannot stop crying right now! Help me Jesus!
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